Translated from Racine, “Plaintes d’un Chrétien sur les contrariétés qu’il éprouve au dedans de lui-même”.
My God, what a cruel war!
I think there are two men in me:
The one would, full of love for thee,
Make my heart forever faithful.
The other one is ever hostile
And hardens me against thy law.
The one divine, all full of faith,
Would raise me always up on high,
And when he lifts me to the sky
I count as nothing all the world.
But then the other’s mortal load
Oppresses me upon the earth.
Alas! at war within my heart,
How can I ever come to peace?
I would leave sin, but cannot cease.
I would do good, but cannot move.
I fail to do the good I love,
And do the evil that I hate.
O grace, O ray of God, come save
The man who in these lines implores—
Drive out my sin with gentle force
And make accord between us both
Converting thus this slave of death
Into thy voluntary slave.
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Stanza 3 is especially good here, I think; the counterbalancing of "I would leave sin, but cannot cease / I would do good, but cannot move" is simple and really excellent.
ReplyDeleteIs the abbcca rhyme-scheme in the French, or an ornament of your own? Took me to the second read-through to notice it - very subtle, but well done.
The rhyme scheme in the French is one of those bastard-hard rhyme schemes that French is known for: abbaab. I took the lines at either end and yoked them to each other rather than the central couplets to make life a little more bearable. Also switched to slant-rhyme -- my standard trick, I think the Arnaut Daniel was the first time I ever didn't do that.
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